Alicia Jessop

The last two days have been a roller coaster for me.  I’m currently sitting on the couch in my old house in California as I type this.  I miss my old home so much, but am so grateful for the new life I’ve been given this past year in Colorado.  I was in California this weekend to visit friends and facilitate a values-based leadership conference for sorority women on Friday and Saturday at Cal Poly Pomona.  Around 10 a.m. on Saturday while I was at the conference, my phone buzzed with a text message.  It was from one of my best friends and sorority sisters, Becca, telling me that our friend Jen had passed on after a 20-month battle against Leukemia.

I’ll write more about Jen and the legacy she imprinted upon this earth tomorrow in my Tuesday Truths series.  For today, I’ll say this:  Whenever a 26-year-old who lived life with the greatest grace leaves this world, it hurts.  It aches and upsets you and makes you reevaluate a lot of things about the way you are living your life.

I moved through Saturday numb.  I put on my leader hat and facilitated the conference even though all I wanted to do was run outside and cry.  Or get back on the airplane and hug my friends in Denver.

On Sunday, I drove from Los Angeles to Orange County, picked up my old roommate Alex and headed to the most cathartic place I know, Laguna Beach.  There’s this little store down there, Tuvalu, that as strange as it sounds, is one of the most serene places I know.  It’s filled floor to ceiling with chandeliers, blue and sea foam green glasses to decorate a beach house with and these really inspiring barn wood signs.

I worked my way through the store, picking up items, rolling them around in my hands and putting them down.  When I reached the back of the store, I saw something that caught my eyes.  And then I stood there for what had to have been at least a minute, looking up at it and thinking.

It’s so cliché, but this day that you have been given is the greatest gift that you ever could be given.  The possibilities for it are only limited by you.  In other words, they are limitless.  What are you doing with this day?

I love the line in this sign that reads, “What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”  How powerful is that?  What if we started treating days like currency, where you had to spend them purposefully?  What if each of our actions was chosen specifically and intentionally to utilize this one precious day that we have been given?  What difference could that make?

Today I have very simple advice for you:  Make the most out of today.

Choose people, ideas and experiences that allow you to flourish.

Choose events, instances and occurrences that when you get into bed, your face has no other choice but to fall asleep smiling.

Choose to cut riff-raff people, negative feelings and moments of doubt out of your days.

Choose to live life purposefully, intentionally and excitedly.

Tell yourself that you can achieve your goal.  Then get to work on achieving it.

Tell yourself that you deserve to be surrounded by positive people who love you.  Then get to work cutting the negative people out of your life and celebrating the friendship of the great people who surround you.

Make a list of every adventure you want to experience in life.  Know no limits in writing it.  Actively engage yourself in completing the list.

Smile at a stranger.  Ask somebody how their day was.  Give something to someone who can never repay you.

Be actively present with the people who surround you at any given moment.  Put away the iPhone.  Get off of Facebook.  Be in the moment.

Push yourself.  Run that extra mile.  Take that dare.  Tell that boy how you really feel.

Find grace.  Forgive somebody that you don’t want to.  Forgive yourself.  Take it easier on yourself.  Give someone a chance.

Get in the car.  Pick your favorite station or pop in your favorite CD.  Roll down the windows.  Put one hand on the wheel and the other outside of the window.  And just roll.

Think about the greatest joys in your life.  Family.  Friends.  Good food.  A nice glass of wine.  Incorporate more joy into each day.

This is your one day.  It’s cliché, simple and perhaps even dramatic, but it is reality.

Make the most out of it.  Seize it.  Tomorrow isn’t promised today.  Do everything else that those great philosophers told us to do long ago.

Most of all though, make it yours.

One of the questions I get the most since starting RulingSports.com is, “How did you get started?”

I always struggle with this question.  I struggle with it, because it seems that more often than not, my answer is not satisfactory for those asking me the question.

I got started on my sports business career by doing the most obvious thing:  just starting.

I was most recently asked how I got started by a new friend on Saturday night while celebrating another friend’s birthday.  He asked me how I got started on this journey and I kept saying, “I just started.”  Quickly into our conversation, I realized that this answer wasn’t satisfying him.  So, I would throw in other things.  For instance, I said, “Well, I knew I wanted to write, so I launched a blog.”  Or, “I knew that most of my friends aren’t sports fans, so I would have to find a readership elsewhere, and ultimately settled on social media use to attract readers.”  Ultimately though, the crux of my answer to him was that I just started.

There was no grand scheme nor a formal plan when I launched RulingSports.com, and subsequently the journey I’m on which now includes BusinessofCollegeSports.com, Forbes.com, radio show appearances, TV segments and an agent.  All there was on July 1, 2011, was a passion and desire within me to start something that would allow me to share my sports law and business knowledge with the world.  And with that passion and desire, I got started.

The advice to just start doing something to chase your dream or use your passion is perhaps the best career advice I can give you.  I believe it is the best career advice, because it is the foundation for every other thing you will do on your career journey.  You cannot get anywhere if you do not begin the journey.

The first weeks of RulingSports.com’s existence were some of the most exciting times of my life.  I knew that I wanted to write about sports law, but I had no boundaries.  Whether or not I wrote a story was solely the result of whether or not I was interested in the topic.  There were no editors telling me that something was uninteresting and that nobody would read it.  I truly believe that because my passion alone was driving my product early on, I was able to reach others the most effectively.  When you are passionate about something, you are the most inclined to do your best work.  Your interest in the topic bleeds through, because your passion drives you to learn the most about it, tell about it the best, and put the most effort into your work.

Given that I am a planner (see here), during RulingSports.com’s infancy, there were many days when I wanted to sit down and write out a plan to determine exactly where I wanted the website’s progress to go.  Luckily for me, at the time I was living with my roommate Alex, who tried to break me of my incessant planning habit.  Whenever I would say things like, “I just need to write out a specific plan for where I want the site to go,” she would tell me to hold that thought.  Instead, she would encourage me to keep doing what I was doing–that being pursuing my passion by putting my all into researching and writing stories–and see where it went.  This was critical, as it allowed me to begin to share my passion with others without putting too much external pressure on myself early on.

It has been a mere 15 months since I started RulingSports.com.  I always laugh about how much my life has changed in that short period of time.  The opportunities that have come my way are ones that I never could have planned, nor imagined.  They are chances that have only come my way because I started chasing my dream.

The point here, is that there is not a cookie cutter method to achieving a certain career goal.  Each of us has our own journey and every professional has their own path that led them to their current position.  However, if you were to ask every person in a position you admire how they got to where they are, one step is the same:  they got started.

How can you start chasing your dreams and pursuing your passion?  The key word is start; your actions don’t need to be monumental or exhaustive of everything you need to do to accomplish your dream.  Just get started, and the rest will follow.

It is no secret around the courthouse in which I work that I eat, breathe and sleep sports.  Most of my conversations with judges and other attorneys center largely around sports and the writing I do for RulingSports.com and Forbes.com.  This morning while discussing the ESPN 30 for 30 film, “Broke,” and athletes who squander fortunes, a judge said to me, “You know what they say, Alicia, ‘A goal without a plan is just a wish.'”

And with those words, I knew I found the topic for this week’s Managing Monday.

I’ve been a planner my entire life, so much so, that I wouldn’t be shocked if I came out of the womb with some sort of scheduling device.  As a child, I dutifully planned my future.  I knew which clubs and organizations I needed to participate in to increase my admissions chances at select colleges.  I knew what classes I needed to take to qualify for scholarships.  In undergrad, I knew what leadership positions I had to hold to secure my chances at law school admission.  In law school, I knew what grades I needed to get my first year to ensure law review membership.

Ultimately, I have engaged in planning excessively throughout my life.  I have planned so much, that I am no stranger to hearing things like, “Take it easy” or “Just go with the flow” from friends and family members.  I believe that my planning nature is largely responsible for many of the places I’ve found myself.

However, there is a point in life where planning becomes dangerous.  Planning becomes dangerous when you hinge your self-worth or happiness upon the outcome of a certain plan.  Thus, I argue that preparation in most cases is more important than planning.

What is the difference between planning and preparing?  Planning is narrowing your focus upon one targeted goal and determining the course you must follow to reach that goal.  Preparing is completing the tasks necessary to travel the course to that goal while remaining open to a variety of outcomes that may arise due to your hard work and efforts.

There have been various detours thrown into my life plan.  My college plans drastically changed when my grandmother who practically raised me was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease my freshman year of high school.  However, because I was prepared, I was still able to attend a first-class university, albeit 30 minutes away from home instead of on the east coast.  My post-law school career plans greatly changed when the United States economy collapsed seven months before I graduated.  However, because I was prepared, I still found employment, albeit not in the area of law in which I planned on practicing.

Preparation allows you to secure the best life for yourself when your plans don’t go as planned.  If you are completely prepared for your plans to come to fruition, you are also completely prepared should they fail.  What I mean by this, is that we cannot control the outcome of many of our plans.  This is because, most of the time the outcome of our plans hinges upon someone else’s decision–whether it be a school you want to get into, a job you want to have or a man you want to marry.  Thus, the best you can do many times, is ensure that you are completely prepared for the plan to come to fruition.  If it does, wonderful–you are ready to succeed.  If it doesn’t, you are also ready to succeed, albeit at something other than your original plan.

One of the people whose life I admire the most is the late John Wooden.  Wooden lived a life filled with integrity, in which he offered simple guidance to others to make theirs better.  One of my favorite Wooden quotes is the following, “Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

What do you do to become the best that you are capable of becoming?  You do this through engaging in focused preparation.  Do we only become our best when our plans go exactly as we had mapped them out?  I would argue no.  We only become our best when we give our all to completing the preparation and traveling the journey necessary to someday, hopefully achieve the plan.

It was the late French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery who said that plans are necessary for a goal to be anything but a wish.  While he was clearly onto something, I think in this day and age, perhaps an asterisk is needed at the end of his quip.  If it were me, I would say, “‘A goal without a plan is just a wish, and without preparation and flexibility, you will get nowhere.”

The start of a new month is always exciting for me.  Yes, while paying bills due on the first of the month is an annoyance, a new month represents so much more to me.  To me, a new month represents a new chance and another opportunity to grow and become better.  Something that I’ve adopted in 2012 to help me grow each month is setting aside a couple of hours on the last day of each month to write out goals for the new month.

My idea for monthly goal setting came to me through my duties as a national officer of my sorority, Sigma Kappa.  Each January, I travel to collegiate chapters across the nation to train their incoming officers.  What I love about Sigma Kappa’s leadership training model, is that it allows the collegiate women to set their own goals and determine how they are going to attain them by outlining objectives to reach the goals.  During the course of the weekend that I spend with a respective chapter, we evaluate the critical goals that the chapter must meet in order to become the best that it can be.  Then, we spend a significant amount of time detailing the objectives the chapter must meet to achieve the goal.

Seeing this process firsthand numerous times has reiterated the importance of constantly revisiting goals in order to achieve them.  Given this, beginning in January 2012, I have made it a point to revisit my goals at least once a month.  Revisiting my goals this frequently has allowed me to do a couple of things.  First, it has allowed me to recognize the progress I have made.  More importantly, though, it has allowed me to more clearly see the things I need to do to achieve my goals.

So, how do I set monthly goals?  I do it by keeping things small and manageable.

Each of us has at least one clear, overarching goal.  It could be to find a career that you’re passionate about.  It might be to fall in love and start a family.  Perhaps it is to see the world.  For me, it is to work in sports media.

Clear, overarching goals are good.  However, to achieve them, you likely need to check many smaller goals off of the list.  That’s why monthly goal setting is important.  It provides you twelve opportunities to cross small items off of the list with the intent of one day hitting that clear, overarching goal.

The key to monthly goal setting is identifying the small things you need to do to achieve you’re clear, overarching goal.

For me at this juncture, those small things essentially amount to finding exposure.  Whenever I talk about my agent, we spend a lot of time discussing what basically boils down to exposure.  I need more TV appearances.  I need writing opportunities that have the potential of being read by wide audiences.  I need to be heard by more people on the radio.  From our conversations, it seems as though to me, that hitting my clear, overarching goal at this point hinges largely upon exposure.

Given this, for October, my short-term goals focus exclusively upon exposure.  Thus, my overarching goal for the month of October would be to gain more exposure.  After defining what my goal is, I then set out the objectives–or means to achieving–I will follow to attain my goal.  For example, one objective I can complete to achieve my goal of gaining more exposure, is to appear on radio shows in markets I have never appeared on.

It is important to write out your goals and objectives so you can visualize them and return to them throughout the month.  Here is a sample of my goals and objectives for October, to get you started on drafting your own:

OCTOBER

My goal is to:  Gain more exposure so that my capability of sharing sports business and sports law stories becomes known to more people who may be able to help me achieve my clear, overarching goal of attaining a sports media career.

Objectives I will complete to attain this goal:

1.  Tape segments on four sports radio shows in four markets that I have never been on.

To achieve this objective, I need to:

A.  Research media markets in which you have not taped radio show segments.

B.  Research radio shows and compile a list of which ones you may be interested in appearing on.

C.  Compile a spreadsheet of contact information and Twitter accounts for the show’s hosts and producers.

D.  Draft email introducing yourself and sending a sample segment.

E.  Follow up with the hosts and producers to schedule the taping.

Writing this goal and list of objectives took all of ten minutes.  Executing it will take significantly longer.  However, if I complete it, I will have done exactly what I needed to this month.  Because I did exactly what I needed to this month, I will be one step closer to achieving my clear, overarching goal than I was last month.

Monthly goal setting has proven to be incredibly beneficial in my life.  Given how busy life becomes and how easy it is to fall off course when it comes to pursuing  your dream, monthly goal setting provides an easy way to maintain the course.

How often do you set goals?  How often do you revisit your goals to make sure you’re still on the course to achieving them?

When many people think of networking, they imagine awkward exchanges with stiff people at crowded events.  While such events do in fact present networking opportunities, the truth is as individuals in a heavily populated world, nearly every minute of every day poses a networking opportunity.

As children, most of us are taught to not talk to strangers.  While this is important advice to protect innocent children’s safety, it is advice that should be thrown out the window for those in the working world.  Talking to strangers and getting to know them is what networking is all about.

So, how can you turn mundane, everyday occurrences into networking opportunities?  It’s simple:  Get talking.

Although she’s been a stay-at-home mom my entire life, my mother is perhaps the greatest networker I know. Why is this the case?  It’s because she’s fearless when it comes to approaching and talking to people.  My mom meets friends everywhere she goes.  The grocery store.  Airplanes.  Restaurants. 

Her approach is nearly foolproof and something that can be easily incorporated into anybody’s life to begin the process of what I like to call “everyday networking.”

1.  Approach people fearlessly

When you have a genuinely kind spirit and happy disposition, the chances are that if you approach a stranger to talk, you will be received positively.  Most people in this world are good, kind people, who enjoy positive interactions with others.

Given this, in order to begin everyday networking, you must begin approaching those you meet during your everyday happenings and strike up conversations. 

When I worked on the 11th floor of a large office building in Orange County, I made it my mission to speak to a different person each day in the elevator.  From my perspective, we were all trapped in the cube for at least a minute, so I figured I would use the time to my advantage to begin making connections.  By simply greeting people as they walked onto the elevator with “good morning” and a kind smile, I was able to expand my network and meet a variety of interesting professionals.

The first step in everyday networking–approaching people–is arguably the hardest.  It is the hardest because it takes fearlessness, where you cannot worry about not being positively received or being rejected. 

2.  Get to the point quick

Within five minutes of meeting someone, my mom is capable of learning their entire life’s story.  She is capable of doing this, because her fearless nature allows her to avoid beating around the bush and instead, ask substantive questions.

When you are engaging in everyday networking, you generally do not have a lot of time to work with.  Generally, you are waiting in line at Starbucks, riding up an elevator or pushing a cart through a grocery store.

So, how do you get the most bang for your networking buck in these moments?  You do it by getting to the point quick.

My greatest interest in life is sports.  Thus, the people who can offer me the most in terms of networking, are those who likewise have an interest in sports.  So, when I am everyday networking, it generally goes something like this:

Me:  Good morning!  It’s a nice day, isn’t it?

Stranger at Starbucks:  It sure is.  I’m glad I’m getting my coffee though.

Me:  I hear ya.  It’s good to have to get through Monday.  Where are you headed to this morning?

The Stranger at Starbucks would then explain where he or she works.  There’s a chance that he or she works in the sports industry.  There’s also a chance that he or she doesn’t.  The good news, though, is that if they do, I now know that.  Since I know that, I can easily segway into what I do in the world of sports and begin working to make a professional connection.  To sum it up, you never know unless you ask.  And in everyday networking situations, you need to ask quickly.

3.  Seal the deal

If you find that the stranger you’ve begun speaking with works in a field you’re interested in, you must then quickly work to seal the deal and begin a professional relationship with them.  You do this in the most obvious way possible:  by asking for their business card.

While this may seem awkward, professionals do not find being asked for a business card strange.  It is something that happens to them on a daily basis.  Thus, this is a natural question to ask.

However, it is important that you have your own business cards. First, this makes you look more professional.  However, and perhaps more importantly, in the off-chance that the person you’re speaking with doesn’t have one, you’ll at least be able to give them your contact information with the hope of continuing the professional relationship.

The process doesn’t end upon receiving the business card, however.  Rather, you must follow-up with the person!  Generally, whenever I meet someone and receive their business card, I make it a point to email them later that night.  The email is standard and simple.  First, I say that it was great meeting them and remind them of where we met.  You have to assume that the person meets many people and may not necessarily remember you.  Then, I mention something from our conversation that I enjoyed or struck me.  Given that if I met the person in an everyday networking situation, our conversation was likely short, this tidbit would likely be something about their career or interest in sports.  Then, I ask if they would be willing to grab lunch or coffee sometime, so that I can learn more about what they do.

This process has worked amazingly for me.  When you engage in everyday networking, you are sure to meet somebody new every, single day.  Since you are meeting somebody new every, single day, you are increasing the possibility of creating opportunities to meet individuals in the field of work you are interested in.  Because the pool of people you are meeting is growing larger by the day, you find that you are continuously expanding your network to include people whose careers are relevant to your goals.

So, the next time you get on the elevator, start by saying “hello” to the stranger standing next to you.  You never know who they might be or what they can do for your career!