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What’s Good Wednesday: Competitive Dates

August 29, 2012

A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker popped into my office around 4 p.m. and said, “I have something that is going to make you laugh.”  It had been a long day, where to put it simply, I could use nothing more than a laugh.  So I said, “Hit me.”

This co-worker of mine has been dating the same girl for some length of time.  He told me, “Well, my girlfriend bought us a Groupon to go paintballing….”  I said, “This already sounds disastrous, and as such, I know it’s going to make me laugh.  Continue.”

Perhaps “What’s Good Wednesday” is an improper title for this week’s post, as I’m going to break down some dating “don’ts.”

Rule #1 of dating:  If you are a competitive person dating another competitive person, competitive activities should be off-limits for dates.

So, as my co-worker continued his story, he told me that they got to the paintball location and were generally having a great time as they were initially put on the same team.  The ran around the field, ducked under things and shot up strangers with paintball guns.  If that doesn’t spell romance, I don’t know what does.

Then the trouble began.  The orchestrator of the paintball game declared that it was time to switch up the teams.  As luck would have it, my co-worker and his lady were split up.

My co-worker didn’t seem to think too much of this, as he believed that his girlfriend could fend for herself given that she has experience with guns.  Fair assumption, I suppose.  So, they went their separate ways and the new game began.  Shortly into it, my co-worker was running around the field and encountered a person from the other team.  He proceeded to do what any able-bodied paintball player would do:  He shot the person in the face.

The trouble is, that person was his girlfriend.  He didn’t recognize her as her hair was pulled back.  However, he quickly did once she ripped off her face gear and proceeded to rip into him.

And that, my friends, is why you as a competitive person, do not take your competitive significant other paintballing on a date, or on any other date that can breed a) too much competitive instinct or b) pain.

There is nothing wrong with being a competitive person who enjoys engaging in competitive activities.  However, from my experience, this type of endeavor is best engaged in without the participation of your significant other.  The reason for that, is direct competition between partners is never a very healthy thing.  Rather, it generally breeds animosity and anger.  So, take your competition elsewhere.  That’s what friends are for.  Or better yet, teammates.  Or, even more appropriate, perfect strangers.

And for heaven’s sake, if you must take your girlfriend paintballing, do not shoot her in the face!  But, if you do, buy her something nice afterwards (maybe along with an ice pack).

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