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Todd Helton Got A Horse

September 25, 2013

Sports is a dominating force in the Jessop household.  As an only child, I became the son my dad never had.  Except I wore dresses, was a cheerleader and in a sorority.  However, when it came to talking sports, I could hold my own.

My mom, on the other hand, although she tolerates my dad and my affinity for sports, well, doesn’t get it.

Earlier, the Colorado Rockies gave Todd Helton a horse to commemorate his last home game as a member of the organization.  This gesture, while lighting up the internet, also spurred one of the best conversations EVER.

*Phone rings*


“Hey, mom.  Did you see that the Rockies gave Todd Helton a horse?!”

“A HORSE?!  Like a real, live horse?”

“Yea, a real, live horse.”

“Did they give him a horse trailer?”

“No idea.”

“Well how is he going to get the horse home?”

“I have no idea.”

“Did it come with a saddle?”

“Actually, yea, I saw that the horse was wearing a Rockies saddle.”

“A ROCKIES SADDLE?!  Where is the horse going to live?”

“I have no idea.”

“Did Todd tell them he wanted a horse?”

“Mom, I really have no idea about any of this.  All I know is they got the dude a horse.  You live in a cowboy state.”

“Maybe they got it for him because he got that DUI.  You know, so he could ride a horse home instead of driving?”

Christine Jessop, ladies and gentlemen.

A video from the Colorado Rockies of Todd, getting said horse:

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