Tuesday Truths: Why I Believe
Recently, a friend asked me why I believe in Christ and how old I was when I accepted Him.
It seemed like such a simple question.
Yet, when forming my actual response, I realized that faith–while simple to believe in–is so much deeper. It is so much deeper, because it is truly the one thing that touches every piece of my core. It is at the foot of each of my decisions. It is my compass and my guide.
Like many, I was baptized as a tot. At the tender age of two-months old, both sides of my family gathered together and I snoozed as water was poured over my head. Perhaps you can say that I accepted Christ then.
Then there was that time when I was three-years-old and I found my first pet, Tweety the Bird, dead in his cage. This incident rocked my young self to the core, as I could did not comprehend what I then believed to be the finality death. I remember sitting in a rocking chair in my parents’ living room just sobbing for what seemed like hours and lamenting over Tweety’s departure from this world.
Finally, my grandmother came over to our house and consoled me. She said, “Alicia, do you believe in Jesus?” My mom took me to church every week and taught me Bible stories, so I said, “Yes.” She said, “Well, if you believe in Jesus, you’ll get to see Tweety again in heaven.” It was that hope that my young self needed to calm my fears. It was that hope, that propelled me at a young age into a believer.
I have enjoyed a very good life. At the same time, though, it has not always been easy. There have been moments of deep hurt in my life, where I am grateful that I had a relationship with Jesus to turn to in order to get through them. Losing the first person to capture my heart in a freak car accident. Watching my beloved grandmother battle and succumb to Alzheimer’s disease. Sitting by helplessly in a hospital waiting room when a chaplain said I should say my last goodbyes to my mom because the doctors didn’t think she’d make it. Talking to my dad in a hospital room at 3 a.m. about Jesus on the night that led to him being diagnosed with cancer in 2008. These moments in my life were painful, stressful, and frightening. Yet, turning those feelings over to God allowed me to move through them with grace. I believe that if my faith was not as strong as it is, I would have reacted to each of those situations in different, less honorable ways.
The simple reason for my faith is this: Hope.
There is nothing on this planet that provides the type of hope that a relationship with Christ does. When you look at the world on its own, you realize that it is a broken place. The globe is filled with hurt and despair. To not have a relationship with God, to me, means excepting that the hurt and despair of the world is the best that there is. To me, it means not believing that someday, a perfect world free from hurt and despair exists.
For me, hope has always been the belief of something bigger than myself that is capable of bringing more peace than I can even imagine. And for me, I have placed that hope in the Lord, for my knowledge and personal experience of the peace that only He is capable of brining in times of hurt. It is this belief that has provided the calm necessary for me to move out of many of the storms of my life and onto smoother paths. For that, I am grateful of my relationship with Christ and for the fact that I am a believer.
Why do you believe?
Tuesday Truths: Plans Versus Purpose
Tuesday Truths is Alicia’s weekly series on faith. Here, Alicia will discuss the ways in which her Christian faith has shaped her life and led her onto the path she is currently traveling. The goal is to foster an open discussion where viewpoints are considered and accepted.
One of my biggest personal downfalls is that I am a relatively impatient person.
I believe that a big reason that I am an impatient person, is that I am a planner. I do not like being unprepared and I typically work to avoid surprises in my daily life. As such, at a young age, I mapped out my life.
I knew that I would attend college from the time that I walked into my Kindergarten classroom. As such, I worked hard throughout grade school to earn nearly perfect grades (those B’s in Honors Physics and Algebra II got in the way). Working hard and earning near-perfect grades were part of my plan to secure admission to an impressive college.
Given my grades throughout my grade school years and my community involvement, when college application time came, my parents’ mailbox was inundated with shiny brochures from impressive schools. Northwestern. Chicago. Boston College. So on and so forth.
I had my heart set on going back east and attending one of these great institutions.
But God’s purpose for me was different.
From the time I was born until the day I left for college, I lived next-door to my grandparents. They served as surrogate parents to me and I spent nearly every day with them. When I was 14 and a freshman in high school, my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Her condition greatly deteriorated throughout my high school years. When the time came to submit my college applications, the thought of leaving Colorado was no longer an option for me. Being 1,000 miles away from a woman who devoted her life to my mother and then me while she was facing her last days of her life was unthinkable to me. For 18 years, I executed a plan that was built in my mind. However, God had other purposes for me. And when I was 18, that purpose was to stay close to home and support my family in a way an 18-year-old could.
One of my favorite Bible verses is Proverbs 19:21. It says,
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
When I was 18, I didn’t think of the college situation I faced by reflecting upon this verse. These days, though, I can apply the verse to a handful of plans that were once held in my heart which were later shattered. The neat thing, though, about each of those plans that was shattered, is that they were replaced with a better, more fulfilling purpose.
Last week I hit a point of frustration. The short of it, is that I believed I lost out on a sports media opportunity I had my heart set on. It was disappointing. It was disappointing, because I had made plans for what I would do if I received the opportunity. It was also disappointing, because at the time, it was the only plan I made for myself.
However my disappointment subsided later in the week when I revisited Proverbs 19:21. In doing so, I realized something: that opportunity, although I had planned for it to be mine in my heart, wasn’t meant to be mine. It wasn’t meant to be mine, because the purpose God has put me on this earth to serve would not be fulfilled by giving me that opportunity. The funny thing about this experience, is that tomorrow, my agent and I are talking about a new opportunity that in my opinion, is more perfect for me than the first opportunity. There is no guarantee that I will get it, or even be considered for it. However, had I received the first opportunity, the possibility of the second opportunity–more suited for me–would have never been discussed. In my eyes, it is no coincidence that things worked out this way. It was God’s plan.
Proverbs 19:21 has allowed me to look at specific instances in my life where I was let down by my plans not coming to fruition and recognize how a bigger purpose was served. This type of perspective is necessary to maintain perspective when setbacks of personal goals are endured. When your plans hit a roadblock, rather than becoming devastated, it is better to reassess the situation and determine why God put up that roadblock. There is only one reason: God wanted to redirect you onto the road of His purpose.
Given that I am a planner, I know that I will have many more plans fall apart throughout my life. However, given my faith in God and the control He holds on my life, I know that plans fall apart for a reason. And that reason is something bigger than myself; it is for my creator’s purpose.
How have you dealt with setbacks in your life? What plans in your life have fallen apart to be put together for a bigger purpose?
Managing Monday: Using Creativity To Pursue Passions
Managing Monday is Alicia’s weekly career advice series. Check back every Monday for stories on how you can further your career and follow your dreams. If you have story ideas for this series, email Alicia.
Each of us has a passion for something. Many of us pursued courses of education in an attempt to turn that passion into a career. Some of us have found that pursuit of education alone is not an absolute route to turning your passion into a career.
I am definitely one of those people. If you’ve been reading my work for any amount of time, you know that one of the greatest passions in my life is sports. Sports have been my lifeblood for as long as I can remember. I love the competition involved in a good game and rivalry. I love the stories of humans overcoming obstacles that sports tell. I love the instances of communities banding together that sports provides.
Throughout my young and young adult life, I believed that by pursuing courses of education in business and law that I would be able to turn my passion for sports into a career. To me, that career path was clear: Become a sports lawyer. I imagined representing powerful clients in the sports world and advocating for their interests. I imagined myself in a coveted corner office in some impressive piece of sports property. When I thought about my career, there was nothing dynamic about it. I was going to become a sports lawyer, and that was that.
The fun thing about journeys, is that nobody’s has one clear, straight path. If you follow my sports law website, RulingSports.com, you know a bit about my journey. At age 25, and one year out of law school, I thought I hit the career jackpot when I was one of two finalists for a general counsel position at NASCAR (you can read that story here). As luck, or fate, would have it though, I was missing one of the winning numbers for that lottery.
I use the word “luck” above when describing missing out on my “dream” job, because in actuality, not receiving the position with NASCAR early on in my career was one of the greatest things to happen to me. It was one of the greatest things to happen to me, because it forced me to evaluate my passions and then find creative ways to pursue them as a career. They say that hindsight is 20-20, and while that job at NASCAR would have provided me with a great many of things, the truth is, some of my passions would not have been represented in the position.
I struggled a lot after I “lost” that NASCAR position. I was unfulfilled in my job at the time and nearly came to believe that I would be stuck in that position the rest of my life. While I admittedly sulked for several months after I found out that I did not receive the opportunity, one morning I finally decided I needed to take action and change my career fate. That morning was one of the most powerful days of my life. So, what did I do?
I got creative.
Being a very aesthetically minded woman, I drove to a local boutique in Orange County and purchased a journal. Being in Orange County, I then drove to the beach. There, I sprawled my towel out, popped in my iPhone headphones and got to work writing.
On the pages, I scribbled everything in life that motivates me and interests me. Things like helping others, giving, leading, motivating people, developing relationships and sharing knowledge filled my pages.
For each interest and personal motivator, I then brainstormed ways in which I could exercise the bulk of those interests and motivators in a career setting.
Jobs like foundation fundraiser, philanthropy event planner, motivational speaker, estate planner and writer popped up across the pages.
This exercise took some time. It took time, because it required creativity. So often, when one receives a degree, they quickly put their feet on the career path to which that degree most easily leads. Some people are content with this. However, I’d beg to say that many aren’t.
It is for this reason that assessing your passions and addressing how you can creatively integrate them into your career is of the utmost of importance.
When I graduated from law school, I followed norms. I believed that the only job for me to combine my passion for sports with the law degree I just spent three years and $100,000.00 earning, was that of a sports lawyer.
Then, I got creative. I realized I could pair a large number of my passions into one idea and one “dream” job. To me, a dream job is one in which every day you exercise the greatest number of your passions. For me, that “job” is RulingSports.com.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was possible to get paid for sharing insight on sports law issues. Never in my wide imagination did I think I would be on TV shows, have weekly radio appearances and a large Twitter following. Never did I believe that I would have an agent who represents the likes of Doc Rivers, John Smoltz and Jeff Francoeur. Never did I think my Wednesday mornings would be spent on the phone with an agent talking about which TV shows he is pitching me for.
The reason why I didn’t think these things, is that until I bought that journal, I never got creative enough. Sure, I always thought that these things sounded fun. However, society told me they were far-fetched. Society, however, was wrong. They were merely creative responses to career choices.
When you think about some of the most “successful” people in our world, they are the ones who are innovators. Take Steve Jobs, for instance. Steve Jobs combined his knowledge and passion in a creative way to develop one of the world’s most successful companies. Imagine how much more you can achieve in your own life if you work each day to fulfill the passions that are inherent in you. There is a way out of every boring and less-than-fulfilling job. The way is creativity.
You can only achieve your full potential if you engage your passions through creative responses. To do this, you must first hash out what your passions are. You then must exhaust every possible idea in which those passions can serve your interests. The outcome of this exercise is that you will likely find a career path that is the most inspiring, intriguing and enjoyable for you. You will be able to escape that metaphorical “box” and begin to build the career that you were meant for. Overall, I would say that it is a worthwhile endeavor.
Thursday Tailgates: Week 2
Well, the first week of college football season sure did not disappoint! Georgia Tech – Virginia Tech was a bit of a nail biter, and luckily for Floyd Mayweather, it was just a rumor that he bet $3 million on Michigan – Alabama. This weekend will likewise bring excitement. The game that I am the most excited for is Florida – Texas A&M. It will be interesting to see whether the Aggies can compete in the SEC and this is the game that starts it all!
Tailgating at Auburn
Speaking of the SEC, I received some information about tailgating at Auburn from the Auburn athletics department. According to Cassie Arner, who is Auburn’s Assistant Athletic Director for Public Relations,
Auburn University is known for its great tailgating and we estimate that our campus becomes the fifth-largest city in the state of Alabama on game days because of the great turnout. Our tailgating has become a tradition because of the individuals that have been coming back to campus for decades and it is passed down through the generations. While we do have an alumni association, the bulk of tailgating is done by families and individuals. We have one area that people can rent out and have an outside group put their tailgate together, and we have RV lots that fill up on Thursday afternoons. Otherwise, people just find a place park their car and light up the grills.
How much fun does that sound like? For starters, it is pretty amazing that a campus becomes a state’s fifth-largest city just because of tailgating! Additionally, it is clear that Auburn fans are passionate about tailgating, as they arrive two days before game day! What an experience. Have any of you enjoyed tailgating at Auburn?
Florida – Georgia
Earlier this summer, I discussed with my friend Kristi Dosh, who is ESPN’s sports business reporter, the possibility of traveling to a game together. The game that I have my eyes on is Florida – Georgia, as it is played in her backyard of Jacksonville, FL. Along with that, I have enjoyed watching both teams play for some time and know that this is a great rivalry.
If I wasn’t set on traveling for the game before, I was convinced tonight. This afternoon, I got my hair done and remembered that the gal who does it once traveled to the Florida-Georgia game. I asked her about her experience. Before discussing her answer, it’s worth noting that my hair stylist isn’t much of a sports fan and only traveled to the game because her family went.
However, when asked if she thought that I should go to the game she said, “BOOK YOUR TICKET NOW, IT IS THE BIGGEST COCKTAIL PARTY IN THE WORLD!” Needless to say, she made it out to sound like a really good time centered around college football. Kristi, if you are reading this, I am in!
Weekly Recipe: Lisa Horne’s Carne Asada
Earlier this week, my friend Lisa Horne over at Fox Sports shared with me her carne asada recipe. While I am very grateful for Lisa’s recipe, I am more so grateful for the wonderful mentor she has been to me on this journey. Whenever I have a question or reach out for advice, Lisa is always quick to respond. When I received my first media credential, I called Lisa to ask what reporters wear to sporting events. She graciously talked me through the process for a good 30 minutes while cooking for her family. Lisa, I’m so grateful to know you and I cannot wait to try this recipe!
Ingredients
12 oz. Flap steak meat
Chef Merito carne seasoning (Available here)
Directions
1. Cut the steak into strips
2. Place the steak on a plate.
3. Coat the steak liberally with the Chef Merito Seasoning so that the steak is seasoned on all sides.
4. Refrigerate the coated steak for at least one hour to marinate.
5. Grill the steak to your preferred temperature.
Chef Horne says the following about this dish: “OMG. The best.”
Thank you for the recipe, Lisa!
Enjoy your weekend, everyone! Be safe, have fun and cheer your team to a victory! And of course, send pictures of your tailgate celebrations!
Tuesday Truths: Guest Post by Benjamin Haynes
Today’s Tuesday Truths is a guest post from Benjamin Hayes. Upon launching the Tuesday Truths portion of my website, Benjamin reached out to me with his story of how faith has shaped his life. It’s a great story that I’m grateful he shared with me. I’m happy to share it with you all, too!
God’s Big Plans
The two main scriptures I want to highlight for my “Tuesday Truth” are Isaiah 55:9 and Hebrews 6:12. Those scriptures read as follows:
Isaiah 55:9- “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Hebrews 6:12- “We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”
I have had two main desires and goals I have wanted to accomplish in my life. Being a division one basketball player, and being an attorney. Both of which God has blessed me with the ability and opportunity to accomplish, but it was not an easy ride.
I remember when I was in 3rd grade and my father asked me what my goal was. I responded by stating, “I want to play division one basketball.” He then replied telling me it will take discipline and a tremendous work ethic, and trusting in the Lord. I remember getting home from school in the 3rd and 4th grade and having a clipboard and an apple waiting for me in my dad’s office. The clipboard had a workout agenda specifying 300 jump shots from various locations on the court for me and I was required to fill that sheet out every day. The work and desire was implemented at a young age.
I faced a lot of rejection as a young basketball player, but my dad never let me quit, and I turned the rejection into motivation. My dream was fulfilled. God opened a door and I played division one basketball against all of the odds, and it was an extraordinary experience.
Did you know that just because God has plans for us that it doesn’t mean these plans will come to pass? We have to act as well. The Bible says that “Faith without works is dead.” That means that if we say we have faith, but do not take any action indicating such by our works, that our faith alone is dead. It is on us to show God we trust in Him to open a door by working diligently and preparing ourselves for that door to be opened. Even when nobody was watching and no coaches were recruiting me, I still was working hard and putting in the time in the gym because I knew that my dreams rested in God’s hands and not in the hands of men. I trusted in Him even at a young age.
God has such big plans for all of us, but we are not guaranteed to receive His big plans for us unless we trust in Him and have patience. As Hebrews 6:12 states, it is through faith AND patience that we inherit the promise. I believe that God gives us promises and desires. However, we won’t receive these promises on our timing, and the path will never be easy. If the path was easy, then why would we need to develop a strong faith? Faith believes and knows God will come through for you, even when, and especially when, natural circumstances don’t point to the promise being fulfilled.
Patience is what all of us struggle the most with. As Alicia mentioned in one of her “Tuesday Truth’s”, the job market for attorneys if extremely rough right now. I remember as a 1L in law school, all of the students were consumed with the idea of getting a summer internship because getting experience was crucial in landing a job once graduation came around. I sent out resumes all year long, and could not find anything. However, I had peace through it all because I knew my God would not abandon me in my search. Philippians 4:6, which states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I stood on this verse for an extremely long time, and it brought me peace during naturally stressful situations.
I had been introduced to an attorney in Orlando, Florida the summer before I began law school. He has a very prestigious law practice and I had asked if I could intern for him for the summer. He declined initially because he has been practicing by himself for 25 years and never had an intern. I continued to pray and just asked God for His will to be done and for an awesome door to be opened for me. Then, at 6 am during finals week, I received a call from this attorney. Remember, this was only about a week before summer started and I had nothing lined up. The attorney asked if I could drive down for the day and have lunch. I said sure.
Sitting across the table from him he stated, “As you know I was a little apprehensive when you asked if you could work for me this summer. I have always just done my own thing and never had anyone else come in. But today, I woke up and I believe the Lord told me to hire you for the summer. I asked my wife (who I had not met at this point) and she felt the same exact way. So I want to offer you this summer gig.”
That is one of those moments where you know you are exactly where God wants you to be at that exact time. His perfect will. Isn’t amazing how God can open up a door with a snap of his fingers? I accepted the position and worked for this man during both of my summers of law school. Not only so, but because of my experience with him, I landed a job after graduation which required 3-5 years of attorney experience, and I had none. However, my employer now knew of the attorney who gave me those internships, and because of what I know to be the favor of God I received the position I have now.
I want to add this, we cannot fall into the trap of thinking that because we mess up and make mistakes that God will not fulfill our desires or promises. God said that Abraham received his promise, not by law (which means Abraham didn’t receive his promise because he was perfect and never messed up), but by faith. Romans 4:13. Trust in God, and don’t believe the lie that you have messed up too many times to receive God’s plans for your life.
Understand that God’s timing is absolutely perfect. As the heavens are above the earth, so are God’s thoughts above our thoughts, and his ways above our ways. Trust in Him for His timing is perfect. We must have patience, so that we do not cut ourselves short of the things that God ultimate has planned for our lives. He truly has amazing plans for everyone.
When you become discouraged with your current circumstances and the devil is telling you that there is no way God is going to come through for you, I encourage you to do this. Look back on all of the times God has blessed you and all of the times where He has shown to be faithful in your life. There are too many times to count. Once you do this, you will have encouragement and peace knowing that God is the same yesterday today and forever, and he will be faithful again, just like he was in the past.
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Benjamin Haynes currently practices law in Orlando, Florida. Haynes graduated from Oral Roberts University in 2008, where he played on the varsity basketball team. During his time at ORU, Ben participated in two NCAA tournaments. Haynes obtained his law degree as well as a certification in sports law. Ben is an author on sportinlaw.com and is a regular contributor on sportagentblog.com.
Haynes is on Twitter at @BHaynes32.
Managing Monday: 5 Tips to Become a Better Writer
Everyone can stand to become a better writer. Even if your life’s desire isn’t to write the next great American novel, writing likely plays some role in your day-to-day life. That role is arguably most likely found in the workplace, where tasks assigned to you often involve writing. If you could improve upon your communication skills and persuasiveness through writing, think about the doors that could be opened to you. Improving as a writer could mean raises, bonuses, introductions to senior co-workers and better career opportunities.
Writing is my passion. For me, it is not work, but rather, something that I love. I know that the same is not true for everyone. Thus, the following are some tips I have for how everyone can improve as a writer.
1. Practice Makes Perfect
For people who do not enjoy writing, my first tip is probably enough to stop them from ever trying to improve as a writer. The truth though, is that the only way to become a better writer is to practice. The same goes for everything in life. Some people in this world are born with natural abilities that are superb. However, even the LeBron’s, Beyonce’s and Phelps’ practice.
The good news, though, is this isn’t high school. Practicing writing doesn’t need to be some dull task that takes hours to motivate yourself to complete. Rather, when in adulthood you assign yourself the task of becoming a better writer, you have the opportunity to engage in fun exercises to do so.
Why is it that you need to become a better writer? Is it to improve in your career? Is it to become a better storyteller? Is it to take over the internet with your blog?
First, figure out the reason why you need to improve as a writer. Then, craft exercises that will help you accomplish that goal. If you want to become a better writer for career purposes, think of the type of writing your job requires of you. Say you need to write product reviews. You can launch your own blog and make it a goal to write two product reviews per week. Or, if you need to write media releases, reach out to a small business in your community to see if they will let you write some press releases for them. Or, write about the topic in which you are the most familiar: Yourself. Start a personal blog to keep your friends and family updated about your happenings–they’ll love it, and you’ll get practice writing. Get creative so that the practice doesn’t seem like work, but like fun. You’ll find that the more you write, the better you’ll get. Your style will strengthen, your voice will develop and your vocabulary will expand.
I can definitely preach all of this, because I am a testament of practice making better (I’m still not perfect). One only has to go back to my early stories on RulingSports.com to recognize this!
2. Remember Your Audience
Remembering your audience is one of the first writing tips I can remember receiving as a youngster. When writing short stories in elementary school, our teacher would always instruct, “Don’t forget who your audience is!” I always thought this was an absurd tip, as my audience was always the same: My seven-year-old classmates and my mom. I’m sure they all loved my first literary hit, Chocolate the Horse.
However, the fact of the matter is, remembering your audience is one of the most important facets of becoming a good writer. This is because, if your audience does not understand the point you are trying to drive home in your writing, then you have not accomplished your goal.
Therefore, before writing anything, take a few minutes to truly define who your targeted audience is. How do you specifically need to communicate so that your target audience understands your message? What type of writing will prevent them from understanding your message?
In my educational and professional background, I learned three different types of writing: Technical writing in engineering school, legal writing in law school and journalistic writing in my sports writing endeavor. Each of them is completely different from the other, based solely upon the fact that each addresses a different type of audience.
RulingSports.com is a sports law blog. However, if I wrote RulingSports.com using my legal writing background alone, I would not have a very large following. This is because, only a select number of people can quickly comprehend legal writing. Lawyers make up that select number of people. Instead, I use journalistic writing to address my audience on RulingSports.com. Recognizing that lawyers and non-lawyers will visit the website has allowed me to write in a way that my audience will comprehend the message I am communicating.
3. Treat Words as a Scarce Resource
One of the easiest ways to become a better writer, is to re-read through every sentence you write and cut out the unnecessary words. The best writers, are those who can make their points concisely. The English language is masterful in allowing one to do this.
How can you spot unnecessary words? You acquire this ability through practice. See Tip #1 above. Write something that you’re excited to write. Then, read through every sentence slowly. Ask yourself, “What is this word’s purpose in this sentence?” “How does this word get across the point I’m trying to communicate?” If you cannot state the word’s purpose or explain how it gets your point across, omit it.
If you make this a practice, over time, you will become a more concise writer. In becoming more concise, you will find that your vocabulary expands as you learn ways to say something that would require, say, five words, in one. When the sentences you write contain only words necessary to communicate your point, there is no way that people will misunderstand your point. This is the goal of writing. If you can achieve this, you are well on your way to becoming a fantastic writer!
4. Longer Isn’t Better
When my summer interns for RulingSports.com started in May, my feedback on their first writing assignments was largely the same: Cut down your run-on sentences. Just as unnecessary words hamper clear communication, run-on sentences make understanding a writer’s point nearly impossible.
A run-on sentence is a sentence that contains more than one thought. For concise and clear communication, it is necessary that a sentence contain only one thought. One way to spot a run-on sentence is to look for sentences containing more than one comma. While this is not a hard-and-fast rule, it is a way to start spotting run-on sentences. In scanning through your paper, look for this type of sentence. When reading through the sentence ask, “Does this sentence contain only one thought, or are the commas there to separate one thought from another?”
If your answer is the latter, you should delete the comma and separate the sentence into two (at a minimum). In the alternative, if your sentence which contains multiple commas contains merely one thought, you should keep it as-is.
You should treat your sentences the same way you treat your words: As though each one serves an absolute purpose. If you find that a sentence does not clearly communicate the idea you are setting forth, chances are it’s a run-on. See if breaking it down so that only one idea is present will allow you to clearly communicate your point.
5. Buy This Book
My senior year of college, I signed up for a course called “The American Dream.” At the Colorado School of Mines, there really wasn’t such a thing as a cake walk course. For instance, some of my friends took Physics III as an elective. I, however, was not that person. Thus, when I saw “The American Dream” in the course bulletin, I thought I hit the elective course jackpot.
I was wrong. The course was one of the most reading and writing intensive classes I have ever taken–and that includes courses taken in law school. Our instructor was a former Cornell football coach who was pushing 90-years-old. I’m pretty sure Mr. Hogan was put on this earth solely to breakdown everything I thought I knew about writing and re-teach me the correct way.
Each Monday, we were required to turn in an essay on a topic inspired by one of the many books we were assigned to read. Each Monday, Mr. Hogan would stand at the front of the class and frantically wave around his copy of another book he assigned. He’d say things like, “Did any of you pick this up this weekend? If you did, you might get better grades!”
That book was Strunk and White’sThe Elements of Style. The Elements of Style is a Bible of sorts amongst writers. It’s a mere 95-pages long (including the glossary). Yet, the text of those pages holds the keys to perfect writing. If one adopted each tip given by William and E.B. (yes, from Charlotte’s Web fame), they could possibly write the next great American novel. However, adopting the tips requires a significant amount of practice. As such, see Tip #1 above.
Most of all, though, remember that writing is fun. Writing is a communicate resource. It is a method, like words, body language, gestures and romance, by which you can express your innermost thoughts. That recognition in and of itself is powerful, and should motivate you to become a better writer.
Thursday Tailgates: Week 1
Great news people, college football season is here! It has been a long, hard summer without one of our nation’s favorite pastimes, but tonight, teams will take the field for the first college football game of the season.
Throughout the season in my Thursday Tailgates series, I will highlight fans traveling to various parts of the country to tailgate. Each week, I will also feature a tailgate recipe for you to try.
Think you love college football? Do you have plans to visit every Division I stadium?
Al Botta and Jarrett Singer are on a quest to visit every Division I stadium and tailgate there. Each year, the two visit about four different stadiums and document their journey on their website, CollegeFootballQuest.com
Tomorrow the two are headed to Tennessee for Vanderbilt’s home opener against South Carolina. According to Botta, they are “pulling for the upset big time!” That should make them popular amongst other Vandy fans that are tailgating. At each stadium they visit, Botta and Singer work to have the home team’s fans “sell” the pair on their team. While at the Vandy campus, Botta and Singer will explore the campus, have some meet-and-greets with Vandy fans, attend an organized tailgate party at Vandyville.
Vandyville is the name for Vanderbilt’s designated tailgating site. Fans are allowed to gather three hours before the game and are encouraged to don all gold. Along with tailgating, the area features scheduled events, such as inflatable games, live music and a giant screen upon which fans can watch other games. One hour and five minutes before kick-off is when the “Star Walk” takes place, where fans in Vandyville cheer on the Commodores as they enter the stadium. All in all, the event sounds tremendously organized and fun for all ages.
Hopefully Botta and Singer will have some pictures to share for next week’s Thursday Tailgates and will keep us apprised of their journeys.
Tailgating on the fly
Does tailgating sound like a lot of fun to you but something that requires too much effort to put together? The good news is that there are a variety of companies that essentially provide tailgates “on-the-go.” Southern Tradition Tailgating is one such company. Brad Vickers of the company explains that for a fixed price, “Fans have all the amenities of home without the setup and most importantly the breakdown and hauling off of all the equipment. Flatscreen TV sizes ranging from 32 inches-55 inches, caterers that deliver directly to your tent and a friendly game day staff that make every tailgating experience hassle free!” The company provides its services at a variety of locations and says that it expects thousands of people to tailgate with the company this season. It sounds like fun!
Buffalo Chicken Dip
One thing is certain: The greatest thing about tailgate parties is the food. Another thing is true: Quick, easy and delicious recipes are the best for a fall day centered around football.
I was first introduced to buffalo chicken dip by my Twitter friend, Ashley Colley (@AshleyColley). She provided me with an awesome recipe that I tweaked a bit for the Super Bowl.
Ingredients
2 (10 ounce) cans chunk chicken, drained
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup Ranch dressing (you can also substitute Blue Cheese dressing)
1 cup Frank’s Red Hot sauce or another buffalo-flavored hot sauce (more or less to taste)
1 1/2 cups shredded Mexican Cheddar cheese
Directions
- Mix chicken and hot sauce in a skillet. Heat the two over medium heat until heated through.
- Add cream cheese and dressing into the skillet and stir.
- Continue cooking the mixture in the skillet until it is blended.
- Mix in cheese and allow it to melt.
- Transfer the mixture from the skillet to a slow cooker.
- Place the remaining cheese on top of the mixture.
- Cook on a low setting until the mixture is hot.
The dip can be served with a number of things: Celery, carrots, crackers, pita bread or just about anything that sounds delicious! It is so easy to make and a big hit with crowd!
What’s Good Wednesday: Competitive Dates
A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker popped into my office around 4 p.m. and said, “I have something that is going to make you laugh.” It had been a long day, where to put it simply, I could use nothing more than a laugh. So I said, “Hit me.”
This co-worker of mine has been dating the same girl for some length of time. He told me, “Well, my girlfriend bought us a Groupon to go paintballing….” I said, “This already sounds disastrous, and as such, I know it’s going to make me laugh. Continue.”
Perhaps “What’s Good Wednesday” is an improper title for this week’s post, as I’m going to break down some dating “don’ts.”
Rule #1 of dating: If you are a competitive person dating another competitive person, competitive activities should be off-limits for dates.
So, as my co-worker continued his story, he told me that they got to the paintball location and were generally having a great time as they were initially put on the same team. The ran around the field, ducked under things and shot up strangers with paintball guns. If that doesn’t spell romance, I don’t know what does.
Then the trouble began. The orchestrator of the paintball game declared that it was time to switch up the teams. As luck would have it, my co-worker and his lady were split up.
My co-worker didn’t seem to think too much of this, as he believed that his girlfriend could fend for herself given that she has experience with guns. Fair assumption, I suppose. So, they went their separate ways and the new game began. Shortly into it, my co-worker was running around the field and encountered a person from the other team. He proceeded to do what any able-bodied paintball player would do: He shot the person in the face.
The trouble is, that person was his girlfriend. He didn’t recognize her as her hair was pulled back. However, he quickly did once she ripped off her face gear and proceeded to rip into him.
And that, my friends, is why you as a competitive person, do not take your competitive significant other paintballing on a date, or on any other date that can breed a) too much competitive instinct or b) pain.
There is nothing wrong with being a competitive person who enjoys engaging in competitive activities. However, from my experience, this type of endeavor is best engaged in without the participation of your significant other. The reason for that, is direct competition between partners is never a very healthy thing. Rather, it generally breeds animosity and anger. So, take your competition elsewhere. That’s what friends are for. Or better yet, teammates. Or, even more appropriate, perfect strangers.
And for heaven’s sake, if you must take your girlfriend paintballing, do not shoot her in the face! But, if you do, buy her something nice afterwards (maybe along with an ice pack).
Tuesday Truths: Managing Worry
I graduated from law school in what many have pegged as the “worst economy since the Great Depression.”
I obviously wasn’t alive during the Great Depression to feel its woe, but clearly, graduating in the worst economy since then wasn’t great news for a recent grad.
From all perspectives, I did everything “right” in law school. I studied hard and ranked in the top-10 percent of my class. I was invited to join the Chapman Law Review and served as Senior Symposium Editor my 3L year. I made solid relationships with my professors, the career services staff and my classmates (read: I was never the competitive jerk that every law school has). I had fantastic internships at the Children’s Law Center of Los Angeles, the Screen Actors Guild, Warner/Chappell Music and my current job, as a prosecutor.
Yet, after all of that, I graduated law school without a single job offer, as did many of my classmates and law school peers around the country.
At first, I did not let this fact worry me. I had a summer of studying for the bar at hand and I knew that even if I had a job offer, it would be contingent upon me passing the bar.
However, once the last weekend of July rolled past and the California bar examination was complete, those feelings of doubt and worry began to sink in.
I took out $100,000.00 worth of student loans to fund my legal education. My parents and a nice scholarship funded my undergrad education. Believing that my parents had done enough to support my dreams financially, I did not feel that it was right to ask or expect them to pay for my legal education.
So, the timing of my worry largely coincided with the realization that my first payment on my student loans was due around November 2009. Without a job, it was highly unlikely that I would be able to pay a $1,200.00 per month student loan payment. So, not only getting a job, but also one that made enough to pay my sizeable loan and for my lavish southern California lifestyle became a constant worry.
I applied for nearly every legal job I was qualified for in southern California. I had numerous sketchy interviews. Once, I arrived at an “interview” only to realize that it was at a house in the middle of a suburban neighborhood in California with no signs that it was a law office. Realizing that I wouldn’t be able to pay off any loan if I was attacked and killed, I opted to drive off before ever entering the house for the “interview.”
By mid-October, my job search hit a point of hopelessness. I was doing everything I could to find work and my funds were nearly depleted. Given that a huge student loan payment was about to come due, I was clearly in dire need of a job.
At that point, I had done almost everything I could. I did what I needed to do in law school to set myself up for success afterwards. I was searching earnestly for a job. I attended countless networking events. Nothing was breaking.
Then, on October 28, 2009, when I got into bed, I picked up my Bible and opened it to a random page. I looked down and found the sixth chapter of Matthew. I truly believe that God sent me this message to calm me on my job search and to reassure me that everything would work out.
The sixth chapter of Matthew is part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. It is one of Jesus’ most well-known, and longest, sermons. It was given shortly after Jesus was baptized and has come to define how many Christians live their life.
While I found much peace in the entire chapter, it was verses 25 through 27 that really spoke to me that night:
25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
What an idea! How does worry help us in our day-to-day life? It doesn’t. After reading those verses, I re-evaluated my entire life and tried endlessly to think of one thing that I absolutely needed throughout it that I wasn’t provided. I could not think of a thing. God always found His way into my life right on time and has always given me just what I need. Upon reading those verses, I knew the same would be true with my job search.
The next morning, I experienced a bit of magic. A law firm that I applied to called me in the morning and asked if I was still interested in the position. I said that I was. They asked if I could come in for an interview that day. I said I could. When I got there, the partner explained the position, said he was impressed by my resume and that if I wanted the position, it was mine. No questions were asked of me, other than why I went to the Colorado School of Mines for undergrad and if I could put in a few hours that day.
I still get chills thinking about this moment in my life. I truly believe that the moment I threw worry to the wayside and handed my job search over to the Lord, that I was given what I needed. Sure, it wasn’t my dream job. But, it was a job. And on top of that, it was a job in a nice office, in southern California that allowed me to pay my bills. I was provided for.
Some of you may be going through a similar situation. The important thing to remember, is that when it comes to a job search, you need to do two things. First, you need to do everything necessary on your end to make yourself a great candidate. That means, taking education seriously, pursuing networking events, developing strong professional relationships, gaining experience through internships and developing knowledge of your field. If you have done everything within your control to facilitate the development of those items, you are as prepared as you can be. The next thing to do, is to put yourself out there and let nature take its course. This is the oftentimes frustrating and sometimes lengthy part of the equation. However, the one thing that won’t make this portion any easier, is worrying about it. For me, giving my worries to God was the answer that provided me peace in what would have otherwise been a frustrating situation. And, the moment I did that, my frustrations ended. I truly believe that if you do the same, your frustrations will end, too.
Managing Monday: Holding Onto Dreams (To Achieve Them)
During my freshman year of high school, we were given a homework assignment that at the time, I believed to be one of the greatest things ever. First, its completion involved receiving a day off of school–the practical equivalent of hitting the lottery for a high school student. The assignment was to reach out to a person in a career field we were interested in. Our tender 14-year-old selves were to spend the day shadowing said person in an attempt to learn about their job and to determine if in fact, it was a career choice we wanted to pursue ourselves.
Throughout my life, I’ve always been an avid sports fan. Pair that with my ability to tell some pretty good stories (my friends will tell you that I often have to preface a story with, “I swear this is true!”), and I knew from a young age what I wanted to do with my life: Be a sports reporter. I knew that if I practiced the craft and put my head to it, that I’d be able to tell a sports story as well as any other reporter. So, I bravely reached out to the sports editor of one of the big, local papers in Denver. I was thrilled when he offered to allow me to shadow him for the day. My mother was probably less than thrilled, as I immediately conned her into taking me to the mall and buying me some expensive get-up to wear for the event. “But Mom, I have to be dressed for success!”
I still remember waking up that morning and the excitement that filled my bones. I remember putting on my new outfit, my mother dropping me off outside of the impressive office and me thinking, “This is it!”
Well, it wasn’t it. The sports editor that I spent the morning with all but killed my dream of being a sports reporter. I don’t know if he was having a case of the Monday’s or if his dog was killed on his way into work, or what. But he was in a less than “let’s inspire the future of America” mood. To date, I can remember every negative thing he said about the profession. Long hours. I’ll never see a family or be able to have one, at that. If I have one, my home life will be terrible. And, worse of all, I’d come to not even enjoy sports anymore. For my sports loving soul, that was the dagger that stuck the most.
For what it’s worth, I don’t remember a single positive thing he said about the profession during the course of our time together. When my mother, the eternal optimist, picked me up that afternoon, I put on my happy face, lied and said that the meeting was great. Afterall, she had just spent an absurd sum of money on an outfit so her kid could go spend the morning with a jaded dude. I couldn’t let her think that was a waste.
I doubt that the man I met with had the intention of killing my dream of becoming a sports writer. Yet, in a morning spent together, he nearly did just that. I backed off from my position on the student newspaper, and eventually quit before high school was over. I started brainstorming alternative careers, such as becoming a lawyer. I ultimately went that route and did not even pursue journalism in college, largely because of what he told me.
The thing about dreams, is that they are personal. Nobody can tell you what your dreams are or what they should be. Sure, your parents might try to guide you and introduce you to various things which may become interests to you. Yet, at the end of the day, dreams are the one thing that only you can define.
Given the personal nature of dreams, it’s important to know that ultimately, you hold the hand of their fate. Yes, it is true that almost every single dream cannot be achieved without the help of another. However, if your dream dies, the help of that other person is not necessary. Given this, as the keeper of your dreams, you must hold tight to them and refuse to let any external force hamper their existence.
I receive a lot of emails from students, lawyers and business professionals asking about the journey I’m on to make my dreams come true. However, one that I received last week struck me, as it hit close to home. It was a from a 14-year-old young lady who wants to become a sports reporter. She reached out to me and asked if I had any tips for her in pursuing this dream. While I laid out general ideas that will definitely help her, there was one thing that I said that I think was the most important tidbit: Never let go of your dream.
Right now, I’m reading Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. It talks largely about how each of us is put on this planet to fulfill a very specific purpose. How do we know what our purpose is? One way to recognize your purpose, is to take a look at your passions. What do you enjoy? What motivates you? What are the driving forces in your life? By just answering these questions, you can gain an idea of what purpose you are here to serve. It is likely, that your dreams center around accomplishing your purpose here on earth.
I wish that the sports editor I met with 14 years ago gave me different advice than he did. I wish he would have encouraged me to pursue my dream and ultimately, live out my purpose here on earth. Had he done that, my life would likely look different from what it does today. Perhaps I would have pursued a different course of study. Maybe I wouldn’t be working as a lawyer. Chances are that I would already have a full-time job in media.
While it’s easy to quickly point the finger at him for dashing my dream, the fact of the matter is that I was too immature to realize that nobody but me is responsible for holding onto my dreams and seeing them to fruition.
Thus, today’s advice is simple: Hold onto your dreams.
As crazy as they may seem, they are yours. That in and of itself makes them worth believing in.
As far-fetched as they may seem, you came up with them. The fact that the thought entered your head means that it is capable of being put into existence.
As unrealistic as they may seem, they can come true. The old saying is, where there is a will, there’s a way. You just need to find it.
At 28-years-old, I have a new rule when it comes to accepting the advice of those who may be able to help me achieve my dreams: Only accept it if it will allow me to achieve my dreams. I no longer listen to naysayers, unbelievers, and people who gave up on their dreams long ago. And neither should you.
Your dreams are personal. As anything else that is yours, you must hold onto them.
Alicia Jessop 